Last night, as we finished our 13th and final wedding of 2011 I couldn't help but look back at this year and reflect on all that has taken place. I thought about this past March and the events that unfolded in our lives, specifically mine, and couldn't keep myself from praising God.
At the end of March I slipped on a wet mat and did some major damage to my left knee. I had an MRI and learned of an underlying condition I was experiencing with my knee as well. I needed surgery immediately, but I knew in the back of my mind there was a possibility that I could be pregnant. The day of the surgery I woke early to take a pregnancy test just to be sure. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions and fears as I learned that it was a reality. Set aside the fear of going under sedation while in the beginning, fragile stages of a pregnancy. My mind rushed to the rest of the year and what would it look like trying to recover from surgery, be on my feet 10-12 hours at a time to photograph weddings and finishing up our wedding season while being 8 months pregnant. Also, where would this put us financially if I couldn't work. The doctors couldn't even guarantee that my knee would hold up throughout my pregnancy and that I wouldn't need another surgery before I gave birth.
It's a very humbling position to be in when you can't rely on on doctors or medicine for healing. It was hard to face a future of unknowns. At that point all I could do was turn to God and put my trust in him. I had to trust him with the baby growing inside me and know that he would watch over him/her during the surgery despite the anesthesiologist saying there was a strong possibility of miscarriage. I was both physically and spiritually stretched going into a wedding season with a weak knee and not knowing if I would make it through the day, let a lone the rest of the year. I was told by doctors and physical therapists that the extra weight from the pregnancy would only weaken my knee more, cause more pain and make it physically impossibly for me to continue working, bend down and be active.
Now I am almost 33 weeks pregnant and I feel stronger. I am carrying a healthy, active, growing baby. The last two weekends Brian and I have spent our time photographing like crazy. Yesterday I climbed a very large flight of stairs and wasn't in a single bit of pain. Out of breath, yes, but no pain!! It took me about 6 weeks post surgery before I could walk up stairs using both legs.
God is so good! I have witnessed him preform miracles in my life this year and can't praise him enough! He proved medical professionals wrong and defeated my fears. This is the God that I follow and put my trust in. A God that is real. One who listens and uses miserable circumstances for His good and His glory.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Joey Dog
Joey has been MIA from the blog for awhile because he lives with Poppy and May-May now. When Leah was born it just got to be too much having him in a little condo, without a yard to let him go free in. It was stressful trying to take him for walks on a leash with two little ones in tow. It wasn't fair to him to always wait to go out when kids needed attention first. A springer spaniel needs at least 45 minutes of running everyday and that wasn't something we could give him. Not to mention trying to keep little hands from pulling on his fur.
We all agreed it was the best decision to let him stay at his home away from home, Poppy and May-May's. They gladly took him in and for several months he played with their dog Bentley. Joey kept them company when they had to put Benny to sleep and helped make the house not as lonely.
We love when we go visit and get to play with Joey. He loves all the kids and they love him. He still gets just as excited when we walk through the door and seems very content. We love him very much and he will always be our dog :)
Getting rid of clothes...
Maternity clothes, infant girl clothes, Brian's old clothes. It's so good to purge, but it seems to take forever and this isn't even all of it! Some of these are little boy clothes we have been given. Those aren't going anywhere, just need to find a place to put them :)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Today was not my day
This morning I dropped the girls off with a girlfriend and went to an OB appointment. Upon arrival I gave the receptionist our new insurance card and she took down all the info. When I saw the Dr. he said everything was going well with the pregnancy and if the rest of my pregnancy continued the same way he would be the happiest obstetrician ever. He said the baby was head down, I'm carrying very well and the growth is right on track. That was very good news. Praise God!
I went home and worked on some photography editing/blogging and received a call from the OB billing department. She informed me that our new policy has a high dectable and we would have to pay $3000.00 before the birth. $1500.00 of that would need to be paid at my next appointment in two weeks. Yikes! Time to pray. I called Brian in tears. We expected to pay our high deductible, just not that quickly. He said he would take a look at the manual on his lunch break.
I then left the house to go pick up the girls and didn't notice a broken bottle at the end of our driveway until I rolled over it. The noise was so loud that I got out of the car to look what it was. There were large pieces of glass everywhere that I was sure my tire had been punctured.
I returned home and Brian showed me our policy which clearly stated the payment process (what we originally expected to pay) and said I should call the insurance company to clarify. The insurance company said the billing office needed to contact them to clear things up. I called the billing office and she said it was office policy to pay the deductible before the birth. I then went outside to clean up the glass in the driveway and as I was doing that received a call from billing again. The woman said she did further investigating and found out that our plan was different from what she originally thought. We would pay the deductible after the birth and be billed by the hospital, not the Dr.'s office. Answer to prayer! This was what we had thought all along and was a huge relief, but I was still emotionally stressed from the situation.
A few hours later, my friend text messaged me to say head lice is going around the church and my girls were directly exposed to it yesterday. Ugh! More praying.
While I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and feeling overwhelmed by the craziness of the day I open the dishwasher only to find out the dishes I have been pulling out all day to eat off of had never been washed. Yuck! It was just one of those days.
I wanted to share this, not to complain and throw a pity party, but to reflect on how good God is through all situations. He has been teaching me about trials and throughout this stressful day I had the opportunity to reflect on what he has taught me. He is always good and he always receives glory. During the day today, there were so many times I wanted to gripe and complain. I wanted to tell everyone my troubles, but I told myself I would choose a happy heart and positive attitude. I thought about my Dr. appointment from earlier and the wonderful news he gave. I praised God for that and it brought a smile to my face. It made me realize no amount of money could be worth taking the joy of a healthy baby from me. God is faithful to me and I need to be faithful in return. I have no reason to worry and every reason to believe he works all things for good of those who love him and are in Christ Jesus.
I went home and worked on some photography editing/blogging and received a call from the OB billing department. She informed me that our new policy has a high dectable and we would have to pay $3000.00 before the birth. $1500.00 of that would need to be paid at my next appointment in two weeks. Yikes! Time to pray. I called Brian in tears. We expected to pay our high deductible, just not that quickly. He said he would take a look at the manual on his lunch break.
I then left the house to go pick up the girls and didn't notice a broken bottle at the end of our driveway until I rolled over it. The noise was so loud that I got out of the car to look what it was. There were large pieces of glass everywhere that I was sure my tire had been punctured.
I returned home and Brian showed me our policy which clearly stated the payment process (what we originally expected to pay) and said I should call the insurance company to clarify. The insurance company said the billing office needed to contact them to clear things up. I called the billing office and she said it was office policy to pay the deductible before the birth. I then went outside to clean up the glass in the driveway and as I was doing that received a call from billing again. The woman said she did further investigating and found out that our plan was different from what she originally thought. We would pay the deductible after the birth and be billed by the hospital, not the Dr.'s office. Answer to prayer! This was what we had thought all along and was a huge relief, but I was still emotionally stressed from the situation.
A few hours later, my friend text messaged me to say head lice is going around the church and my girls were directly exposed to it yesterday. Ugh! More praying.
While I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and feeling overwhelmed by the craziness of the day I open the dishwasher only to find out the dishes I have been pulling out all day to eat off of had never been washed. Yuck! It was just one of those days.
I wanted to share this, not to complain and throw a pity party, but to reflect on how good God is through all situations. He has been teaching me about trials and throughout this stressful day I had the opportunity to reflect on what he has taught me. He is always good and he always receives glory. During the day today, there were so many times I wanted to gripe and complain. I wanted to tell everyone my troubles, but I told myself I would choose a happy heart and positive attitude. I thought about my Dr. appointment from earlier and the wonderful news he gave. I praised God for that and it brought a smile to my face. It made me realize no amount of money could be worth taking the joy of a healthy baby from me. God is faithful to me and I need to be faithful in return. I have no reason to worry and every reason to believe he works all things for good of those who love him and are in Christ Jesus.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Reading Books
We have been helping our church with their new website by taking pictures of all the different ministries. This past Sunday Brian was walking around the new library and came across Poppy reading books to Abby.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Take My Life And Let It Be All For You And For Your Glory...
There is a lot on my heart from what God has been teaching me recently and I wanted take some time to journal about it. I thought if I posted it here then other people could have the opportunity to be blessed.
Recently the Lord revealed to me that He is glorified though every situation. He brings glory out of really difficult situations and even the ugliest of sin He is glorified through. That is something my mind cannot even fathom, but it's true. He is God and He is able to do much more than I can conceive. I had been confronted with sin in my life and was letting it tear me apart inside. As I prayed for it to not hold my thoughts captive. God revealed to me that He is glorified through that sin and the only one holding me back from moving forward was myself. That was such a huge lesson for me to learn and it has really changed my thought process. Praise God!
This past Sunday the pastor talked about simplicity and surrender. He recalled the story of Abraham and his amazing obedience to God. God told Abraham to sacrifice his son and because Abraham had such great faith he was willing to. As Abraham raised his arm to strike his son an angel appeared before him and told him to stop. God was glorified through Abraham's obedience and faithfulness.
Last night I had a dream about a friend of mine who is dealing with stage four breast cancer. Although she has a long road ahead of her, she remains positive and full of joy. Her trial is great, one that I would not ask to face. In my dream I realized that in order for me to really grow close to the Lord I needed to endure great trials. It is through our trials that God breaks us down and builds us back up, making us stronger and more faithful than before. That is something I deeply desire. I desire to grow close to God, deeply close. I want to be as faithful as Abraham and have deep faith, but when I ask myself, "am I willing to face difficult hardships in order to be closer to God," I have a hard time being willing. In my own strength I cannot ask for the trials to come. I pray God will give me the strength to say "take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory". Meaning, whatever you allow for me to face, whether it be sin or hardship, I know it will bring you glory and ultimately bring me closer to you. I am a weak person, who is naturally ugly, but because I have Christ and know he is living in me, I am far more beautiful than I could even dream.
Before the world was made
Before you spoke it to be
You were the King of Kings
Yeah you were, yeah you were
And now you`re reigning still
Enthroned above all things
Angels and saints cry out
We join them as we sing
Chorus
Glory to God
Glory to God
Glory to God forever (repeat)
Creator God you gave
Me breath so I could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of our King
Bridge
Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours
http://www.tsrocks.com/s/steve_fee_texts/glory_to_god.html
Recently the Lord revealed to me that He is glorified though every situation. He brings glory out of really difficult situations and even the ugliest of sin He is glorified through. That is something my mind cannot even fathom, but it's true. He is God and He is able to do much more than I can conceive. I had been confronted with sin in my life and was letting it tear me apart inside. As I prayed for it to not hold my thoughts captive. God revealed to me that He is glorified through that sin and the only one holding me back from moving forward was myself. That was such a huge lesson for me to learn and it has really changed my thought process. Praise God!
This past Sunday the pastor talked about simplicity and surrender. He recalled the story of Abraham and his amazing obedience to God. God told Abraham to sacrifice his son and because Abraham had such great faith he was willing to. As Abraham raised his arm to strike his son an angel appeared before him and told him to stop. God was glorified through Abraham's obedience and faithfulness.
Last night I had a dream about a friend of mine who is dealing with stage four breast cancer. Although she has a long road ahead of her, she remains positive and full of joy. Her trial is great, one that I would not ask to face. In my dream I realized that in order for me to really grow close to the Lord I needed to endure great trials. It is through our trials that God breaks us down and builds us back up, making us stronger and more faithful than before. That is something I deeply desire. I desire to grow close to God, deeply close. I want to be as faithful as Abraham and have deep faith, but when I ask myself, "am I willing to face difficult hardships in order to be closer to God," I have a hard time being willing. In my own strength I cannot ask for the trials to come. I pray God will give me the strength to say "take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory". Meaning, whatever you allow for me to face, whether it be sin or hardship, I know it will bring you glory and ultimately bring me closer to you. I am a weak person, who is naturally ugly, but because I have Christ and know he is living in me, I am far more beautiful than I could even dream.
Before the world was made
Before you spoke it to be
You were the King of Kings
Yeah you were, yeah you were
And now you`re reigning still
Enthroned above all things
Angels and saints cry out
We join them as we sing
Chorus
Glory to God
Glory to God
Glory to God forever (repeat)
Creator God you gave
Me breath so I could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of our King
Bridge
Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours
http://www.tsrocks.com/s/steve_fee_texts/glory_to_god.html
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