Today was not my day

This morning I dropped the girls off with a girlfriend and went to an OB appointment. Upon arrival I gave the receptionist our new insurance card and she took down all the info. When I saw the Dr. he said everything was going well with the pregnancy and if the rest of my pregnancy continued the same way he would be the happiest obstetrician ever. He said the baby was head down, I'm carrying very well and the growth is right on track. That was very good news. Praise God!
I went home and worked on some photography editing/blogging and received a call from the OB billing department. She informed me that our new policy has a high dectable and we would have to pay $3000.00 before the birth. $1500.00 of that would need to be paid at my next appointment in two weeks. Yikes! Time to pray. I called Brian in tears. We expected to pay our high deductible, just not that quickly. He said he would take a look at the manual on his lunch break.
I then left the house to go pick up the girls and didn't notice a broken bottle at the end of our driveway until I rolled over it. The noise was so loud that I got out of the car to look what it was. There were large pieces of glass everywhere that I was sure my tire had been punctured.
I returned home and Brian showed me our policy which clearly stated the payment process (what we originally expected to pay) and said I should call the insurance company to clarify. The insurance company said the billing office needed to contact them to clear things up. I called the billing office and she said it was office policy to pay the deductible before the birth. I then went outside to clean up the glass in the driveway and as I was doing that received a call from billing again. The woman said she did further investigating and found out that our plan was different from what she originally thought. We would pay the deductible after the birth and be billed by the hospital, not the Dr.'s office. Answer to prayer! This was what we had thought all along and was a huge relief, but I was still emotionally stressed from the situation.
A few hours later, my friend text messaged me to say head lice is going around the church and my girls were directly exposed to it yesterday. Ugh! More praying.
While I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and feeling overwhelmed by the craziness of the day I open the dishwasher only to find out the dishes I have been pulling out all day to eat off of had never been washed. Yuck! It was just one of those days.
I wanted to share this, not to complain and throw a pity party, but to reflect on how good God is through all situations. He has been teaching me about trials and throughout this stressful day I had the opportunity to reflect on what he has taught me. He is always good and he always receives glory. During the day today, there were so many times I wanted to gripe and complain. I wanted to tell everyone my troubles, but I told myself I would choose a happy heart and positive attitude. I thought about my Dr. appointment from earlier and the wonderful news he gave. I praised God for that and it brought a smile to my face. It made me realize no amount of money could be worth taking the joy of a healthy baby from me. God is faithful to me and I need to be faithful in return. I have no reason to worry and every reason to believe he works all things for good of those who love him and are in Christ Jesus.

Reading Books

We have been helping our church with their new website by taking pictures of all the different ministries. This past Sunday Brian was walking around the new library and came across Poppy reading books to Abby.

Take My Life And Let It Be All For You And For Your Glory...

There is a lot on my heart from what God has been teaching me recently and I wanted take some time to journal about it. I thought if I posted it here then other people could have the opportunity to be blessed.

Recently the Lord revealed to me that He is glorified though every situation. He brings glory out of really difficult situations and even the ugliest of sin He is glorified through. That is something my mind cannot even fathom, but it's true. He is God and He is able to do much more than I can conceive. I had been confronted with sin in my life and was letting it tear me apart inside. As I prayed for it to not hold my thoughts captive. God revealed to me that He is glorified through that sin and the only one holding me back from moving forward was myself. That was such a huge lesson for me to learn and it has really changed my thought process. Praise God!

This past Sunday the pastor talked about simplicity and surrender. He recalled the story of Abraham and his amazing obedience to God. God told Abraham to sacrifice his son and because Abraham had such great faith he was willing to. As Abraham raised his arm to strike his son an angel appeared before him and told him to stop. God was glorified through Abraham's obedience and faithfulness.

Last night I had a dream about a friend of mine who is dealing with stage four breast cancer. Although she has a long road ahead of her, she remains positive and full of joy. Her trial is great, one that I would not ask to face. In my dream I realized that in order for me to really grow close to the Lord I needed to endure great trials. It is through our trials that God breaks us down and builds us back up, making us stronger and more faithful than before. That is something I deeply desire. I desire to grow close to God, deeply close. I want to be as faithful as Abraham and have deep faith, but when I ask myself, "am I willing to face difficult hardships in order to be closer to God," I have a hard time being willing. In my own strength I cannot ask for the trials to come. I pray God will give me the strength to say "take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory". Meaning, whatever you allow for me to face, whether it be sin or hardship, I know it will bring you glory and ultimately bring me closer to you. I am a weak person, who is naturally ugly, but because I have Christ and know he is living in me, I am far more beautiful than I could even dream.

Before the world was made
Before you spoke it to be
You were the King of Kings
Yeah you were, yeah you were
And now you`re reigning still
Enthroned above all things
Angels and saints cry out
We join them as we sing

Chorus
Glory to God
Glory to God
Glory to God forever (repeat)

Creator God you gave
Me breath so I could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of our King

Bridge
Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours

http://www.tsrocks.com/s/steve_fee_texts/glory_to_god.html

Leah Noel, 21 Months

Now that Abby is back in school four days a week, I have some great quality time with Leah. I'm using it as my opportunity to catch up on some much needed photos of her. It seems I have fallen into the "second child = less pictures" trap and I'm trying to make that happen less. It takes some effort to get out the camera and capture just the everyday moments, but I know I will regret it if I don't.

She is growing so fast, speaking in sentences and keeping up with her sister. She loves playing with babies, reading books, brushing her teeth and eating yogurt. A lot of people say she looks like Brian, but after seeing these photos, I am reminded a lot of me.

Fabric is here!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been gathering a lot of ideas for the girl's room. Now that we know we are having a boy their room will stay mostly the same, however, I couldn't resist making a few changes. The girls now have bunk beds, which they love, but we didn't have matching sheet sets for them. I have been on the hunt for something cute, girly and fun, but had no luck in Home Goods, TJ Max, Marshalls, Target... you get the picture. I decided to search online and kept coming back to this great collection of prints by Dena Fishbein called Kumari Garden. They arrived in the mail yesterday and I'm so excited about what it will become. Once I have all the materials together I'm sending it out to Brian's Grandmother who so graciously offered to work her magic and create beautiful quilted comforters. I look forward to showing you the final product!

Flowers for a woman's soul

A couple of days ago I purchased some fresh roses just because. I love the soft pink in combination with the gold table cloth and every time I pass by the dinning table I stop to stare. It's amazing how fresh flowers can brighten a person's day (particularly a woman).

Where is heaven?

A couple of days ago I was driving in the car with the girls. We have been listening to this awesome praise cd our church released and we all sing to it. Both girls love the hallelujahs and specifically ask for those songs to be played. It's amazing how they know the words and tunes better than I do.

I can't remember how the conversation came up but Abby started asking me questions about what happens when you die and where do you go. Immediate joy came to my heart and I took full advantage of the opportunity to explain to her about heaven and how you get there. I was amazed by the questions she was asking and how much she remembered from Sunday school class and VBS.

At the end of our conversation I asked her if she would like to ask Jesus into her heart, so she could spend eternity in heaven. She paused and shook her head no. I was pleased with her response because I know that it is all in God's timing when and if He will bring her full understanding of who He is. It's not something I can do for her. She has to ask God for forgiveness on her own. She has to want for Him to take control of her life and make her a new person. I want that for my children more than anything in this life, but I can't make it happen. I can only pray and that's exactly what I did, out loud for Abby to hear.

I guess this story hits so close to home for me because that's how my decision to invite Jesus into my life happened. I was about the same age as Abby (maybe a little older) and I was asking questions in the car.